The Sun Will Explode In Less Than Six Years! (seriously!)

Monday October 07, 2002 00:16

by bowie

no - this is not from The Onion. Perhaps what we lefties have been worring about 'global warming' has been cover up for the fact that we have a few years left?

The Sun Will Explode In Less Than Six Years!

Wednesday September 18, 2002

http://tv.yahoo.com/news/wwn/20020918/103236120009.html

By GEORGE SANFORD

The Sun is overheating and will soon blow up . . . taking Earth and the rest of the solar system with it, scientists warn.

The alert was issued after an international satellite photographed a massive explosion on the surface of the Sun that sent a plume of fire 30 times longer than the diameter of Earth blasting into space.
"It's a sign that the Sun is ready to blow . . . I don't know if I can put it any more plainly than that," says Dutch astrophysicist Dr. Piers Van der Meer, a top expert affiliated with the European Space Agency.

"It will be like a nuclear bomb trillions of times more powerful than the one dropped on Hiroshima going off at the center of our solar system.

"When that happens Earth will be instantly incinerated along with all life on it. It's like when a marshmallow falls into a fire, blackens and melts."

Scientists say the problem is the Sun is literally getting too hot.
The core temperature of the Sun is normally 27 million degrees Fahrenheit. But in recent years it's climbed to an alarming 49 million degrees, says Dr. Van der Meer, leader of a team of Amsterdam-based space scientists who've been tracking the changes in the Sun.

"It's quite similar to when a star goes supernova at the end of its life," Dr. Van der Meer explains. "Over the past 11 years, we've seen our Sun go through changes frighteningly like those that took place in Kepler's Star right before it was observed going supernova in 1604."

Temperatures on the surface of the Sun have been steadily climbing over the past decade, the scientists say.

"This, we believe, not man-made pollution, is responsible for global warming and the alarming effects that we've seen take place on Earth such as the melt-down of the Antarctic ice shelves," asserted Dr. Van der Meer.

The July 1 images were taken by the space-based Solar and Heliospheric Observatory (SOHO), a satellite designed to study the internal structure of the Sun and operated jointly by NASA and the European Space Agency.

"The explosion . . . known technically as an eruptive prominence . . . was colossal," said Dr. Van der Meer. "This is the final warning sign we've all been dreading."

The Dutch scientists calculate that if temperatures keep climbing at the current rate the Sun will be unable to sustain itself.
"It will blow apart like an out-of-control nuclear reactor within six years," predicts Dr. Van der Meer.

NASA refuses to confirm the Euro-pean scientists' assertions and a White House source said, "We don't need anyone spreading more panic now."

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Comments (5 of 5)

Five years - David Bowie

by David Bowie

Mon Oct 07, 2002 00:16

Pressure by the market square, so many sighing mothers
Messages were straight, we five years had gone past, to the left, to cry to inside
Message cord cried, when it explained us that mass really died
Cried as much its face wet, then I could not do him lay
I heard telephones, opera house, favourite melodies
I saw boys, play goods, electrical iron and television sets
My brain, which was hurt like a camp, did not have to save it an area
I had cram so manythings, around everything inside to store there
And that whole fat-thin peole and all high-short people
That whole nobody people and the all someone people
I thought never me would need so many people
A girl my age went from its head, struck some small children
If the black handn't it away I drew in, think her would have killed her
A soldier with a broken arm fastened his star to the wheels of a Cadillac
Bull knelt and kissed the feet of a priest
And a sonderling threw above at the sight of that
I imagine saw you long in the cold vibrations the ice cream living room fresh milk and
Smile and wavelike move and looking so finely
Think you could not do you were in this Song
And it was cold and it rained, therefore I felt like an actor
And I thought of Ma and I wanted to receive back there
Its face, its running, the way, which you speak
I kiss you, you am beautiful, I wish you go

We kept five years clung, on my eyes
We received five years, which a surprise
We received giving years, my brain Hurts much
We received five years, which are all, which we have

BS!

by Buzz Aldrin

Mon Oct 07, 2002 00:22

Having somewhat of a background in space science, if this were to be true, the sun would grow at an alarming rate, as the core temperature would be burning up the fuel twice as fast, thus, if this were to be true the sun should have grown the orbit of venus by now and earth would look similar to venus, yet im still typin this so must be BS!

the real version!

by the real bowie

Mon Oct 07, 2002 00:27

jesus! - whats the deal with that last version of the song??

here's the real one

Five Years (Bowie)
http://www.5years.com/FIVE.htm

Pushing through the market square, so many mothers sighing
News had just come over, we had five years left to cry in
News guy wept and told us, earth was really dying
Cried so much his face was wet, then I knew he was not lying

I heard telephones, opera house, favourite melodies
I saw boys, toys, electric irons and TV's
My brain hurt like a warehouse, it had no room to spare
I had to cram so many things to store everything in there
And all the fat-skinny people, and all the tall-short people
And all the nobody people, and all the somebody people
I never thought I'd need so many people.

A girl my age went off her head, hit some tiny children
If the black hadn't pulled her off, I think she would have killed them
A soldier with a broken arm, fixed his stare to the wheels of a Cadillac
A cop knelt and kissed the feet of a priest, and a queer threw up at the sight of that.

I think I saw you in an ice-cream parlour, drinking milk shakes cold and long
Smiling and waving and looking so fine, don't think you knew you were in this song.
And it was cold and it rained so I felt like an actor
And I thought of Ma and I wanted to get back there
Your face, your race, the way that you talk
I kiss you, you're beautiful, I want you to walk.

We got five years, stuck on my eyes
Five years, what a surprise
We got five years, my brain hurts a lot
Five years, that's all we got

We've got five years, what a surprise
Five years, stuck on my eyes
We've got five years, my brain hurts a lot
Five years, that's all we got

We got five years, stuck on my eyes
Five years, what a surprise
We've got five years, my brain hurts a lot
Five years, that's all we got

We've got five years, what a surprise
We've got five years, stuck on my eyes
We've got five years, my brain hurts a lot
Five years, that's all we've got

Five years, five years, five years, five years...

hahaha

by kh

Mon Oct 07, 2002 00:59

haha the link goes to the weekly world news, the same sterling news source that broke the "Dick Gephardt is an alien story". i think it is also the inspriation for the batboy musical, since batboy is a regular character in the WWN.

will bush still be illigetimate president?

by 23

Mon Oct 07, 2002 13:03

we expected
gore to have more votes.

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The Sun Will Explode In Less Than Six Years! (seriously!)

Comments (5 of 5)